(not to offend)
Yo momma so ugly clothing disgners pay her NOT to wear there clothes

God all these sayings are either funni or just really good anyway...
My friend said this the other day...

"I Would If I Could But I Can't So I Won't"

"We are all -insert words here-"


I had other ones....I've just got to remember them...

I don't mean to offend any blond people (or anyone whatsoever) by this joke. So here goes:

A pilot, chef, blond, brunette and pope are on a plane that's on fire. There are four parachutes between them. The chef and pilot both take a parachute and jump out the plane. The blond grabs a parachute and she too jumps out the plane.

"Take the last parachute," the pope says to the brunette.

"There's two parachutes left; the blond took her backpack!"

Here is another blonde joke or two, so blondes, no offense:

1) Three blondes and a brunette are on an island. A genie comes along, and says, "I will grant you each one wish." So the first blonde says, "I wish I could be a bird and fly away." So the genie turns her into a bird, and she flies away. The second blonde says, "I wish I could be a whale and swim away." So she is turned into a whale, and she swims away. The third blonde says, "I wish I could be a house and live here." And so, she becomes a house. The brunette criosses the bridge.

2) A blonde is walking along the sidewalk when she sees a brunette chanting, "21...21...21!" The blonde goes up to her, and asks, "Whatcha playing?" The brunette stops, and looks at her. "21. Want to play?" The blonde shrugs. "Sure. How do you play?" The brunette points to the street. "You go to the middle of the street, while I chant 21." The blonde shrugs again, and walks to the middle of the road. The brunette starts chanting, "21...21...21!" A car passes, and te brunette says, "22...22...22!"

(No offense to anybody)

An Englishman, an American and a Canadian were in the desert and their car broke down. They decide to take one part of the car each. The Englishman takes the water tank to have a drink, the Canadian takes the petrol tank to light a fire and the American takes the door to wind down the window when it gets hot.

a wedding is the same as a funeral except you get to smell your own flowers

OKAY NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE. I MYSELF AM JEWISH AND NO THIS IS NOT TRUE. But its pretty funny

What happens when a jew with an erection walks into a wall?

He breaks his nose.


I will never apoligize. Im sorry, but it goes against my nature.

A girl comes home with 5 dollars. she tells her mom and her mom asks how she got it. the girl explains that a boy paid her to do a cartwheel in her dress while he sat in a tree. the mom tells her he just wanted to see her underwear. The next day the girl comes home with 10 dollars. The mom says "What did I tell you? He just wants to see your panties"
The daughter replies "Don't worry mommy, i tricked him! I didn't wear undies today."
Lol

How did I miss this joke?? Its soo funny and might me my best for a while (Seriously LOL)


-Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

-If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

-I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

-I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

(Remember not to forget my name when you tell the jokes!)

[not to offend people) but your so poor I seen you digging in the garbage I said what you doing? shoping at wallmart

lol i got one!!


some guy say's "don't say i'm sick and tired of this or i will shoot you with an AK-47" so the ohter guy say's "i'm tired and sick of this" *full auto gun fire guy drops dead* (dead guy's spirit comes to the killer and say's "why did you kill me?" the killer says "you said im tried and sick of this that why" dead guy say's "FOOL i will strike you down with my power" *lightining killer drops dead a war starts in spirit land*

THE END

If wishes were fishes, the world would be an ocean.

What do you get when you mix a rhinosaurus and a elephant? I dunno I was hoping you knew

What is this non-sence

The only thing similar between you and a wrench? You're both a tool

You have to come up with better stories because when you talk all I hear is blah-blah-blah

You have the IQ of a pay-phone, only difference is that a pay-phone is actually useful.

It would name it BannedCamp. lol, get it, BANNEDcamp, because it's banned because its...like uber... and people don't like fighting it becau...shut up it's a Wobbufett >.>

I carry around a picture of you in my wallet all the time to show to my friends. It always gets me some sympathy.

"If you are what you eat, you're always a cannibal."