The priest. He delivers a sermon so long that the rock explodes and the kid falls asleep, allowing him to safely dispose of the boy over a cliff.

A clockwork man Vs. A cranky security guard with one leg Vs. A retired filmmaker

Security guard. The filmmaker made a captain hook movie with him as captain hook. The clockwork man annoys the filmmaker, driving him to the point of insanity. The security guard beats the clockwork man to death.
This is my last one for awhile. Street sign vs preschooler vs teenage vandal.

Teenage vandal. He vandalizes the street sign, and the preschooler simply tells on his mom, which does absolutly nothing to stop the teen's destruction

Guinness world records VS The stupid SOPA thing VS Apple pie

Guinness world records ('cause Guinness is Irish) because some guys break the new world record for most agressive drunks. They celebrate by getting drunk. In their drunk fit of rage they start a riot and someone decides the should obliterate the whole idea of SOPA from existance. During the obliteration of SOPA the apple pie is trampled on Poor apple pie.

Google chrome VS Mozilla Firefox VS Windows Interner Explorer

Mozilla Firefox. It melts chrome and eats IE for breakfast.

My withdrawl from DFO VS A monkey VS Frost ( the person, not the frozen water) VS someother.. random thing

(thats right a 4 way VS. Yeah I went there, but now I cant get back)

The Monkey, it upgrades to XTRM DARTZ and destroys everything with one dart throw.

School principals VS Riot mobs VS Candy Corn



Oh by the way, you all can expect a new picture game/contest from me soon...

Candy Corn. The stuff is so horrid that the principals and the riot mobs hold each other while cowering in the closet.

A Ball VS A Loon VS the economy

The ball. The loon and the economy are practically the same thing (loon= loonie, which is a crazy person).
Aerosol can vs iPod vs a matchstick

Useless FYI, A Loonie is what we Canadians call our Dollar peice.

Well, the match causes the aresol Can to heat and explode, destroying the Ipod nearby. . So the winner is... Whoever used the match?

A Boom Vs A Ka-Boom Vs Nuclear Boom-Boom

I just remembered that. Sorry if I offended, I didn't know you were Canadian. Anyways, ka-boom wins. It is bigger than boom and is more subtle than nuclear boom-boom.
Guy driving a sparkly blue prius vs banana peel vs monkey (not the bloons monkey)

Non taken.

Tha Monkey. He ate the bannana in the peel and threw the peel in to the path of the guy's prius, causing him to spin out of control and slam into a Fortune Cookie Factory. Of course the Factory sues the pants off the guy and the guys sues the monkey, but he gets thrown into a mental hospital. Seriously, who sues a Monkey?

Sueing a Money VS Sewing a Monkey VS a painting of a black square

Very funny reason. Now, the winner is...
...
...
The Painting! As you said, who sues a monkey? Anyways, a guy sues a monkey, which the monkey gets ticked off at, then tries to punch the guy, but misses. The man sews the monkey up, then still tries to sue the monkey. Monkey kills the man, so the only other competitor left is the painting.
Shotgun vs Nuke vs "teabagger" on CoD vs a fluffy kitten (Oh! A quadruple versus! Hahahaha! Mwahahahah-- *coughcough... dies*

The fluffy kitten. Seriously, its so cute the rest stare at it and sayy "AWWWWWWWWWWWE, look at da cwute wittle kitty". They then fight among themselves who gets the kitty. The fluffy kitty is eventually picked up by an attractive 20 something woman, and then they start fight over whose gonna ask her out.While they continue to fight, she walks of with the Fluffy kitten.

Pink VS Purple VS Periwinkle

Periwinkle.

A projector showing "The Colour Purple" blinds Pink (The singer?) and she falls of a cliff. Boom.

Periwinkle, the cat from Blue's Clues (seriously.) knocks over the projector and it breaks.

Napoleon, the pig from Animal Farm vs. Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Napoleon Dynamite.

And don't just say "Napoleon" as the winner.

Normal glasses, the sunglasses have a defect and they burn out, the 3D glasses these days look exactly like sunglasses, and you have to have 3 million bucks to be 'allowed' to wear monocles (oh and the lab goggles would have been eaten by the lab test rats)

4 Sixteenth notes VS Dusty attics with spiders everywhere VS The french Bastille that got torn down years ago

The dusty attic with spiders everywhere. No one wants to clean an attic, expecially if theres spiders.

A hot super model Vs a hot bikini model Vs a very bad migrane ( and by very bad I mean Morphines the only thing thats gonna dull the pain)

The migraine, it causes the two models to become sick, and they end up being fired from their jobs because they can't go to work

Puppies VS dEH tWISTA VS Super smart brains

I'mmm backkk!!!
The winner is...
...
...
The target card!
Lemons are synomynous with bad things, so it loses immediately. The card cuts the meatloaf???
Deadliest Warrior wwwiaf!
Celt vs. Spartan vs. Samurai!

Spartan. The other two cant get past his sheild. Spartan just smakc em with his sheild to knock em down, and then breaks there necks with his sheild.

& VS % VS $

$, it's so rich that it buys out the & and %, and makes them clean out the dusty attic with spiders everywhere!

F's in school VS Red Capes VS Full trash cans

The winner is nobody.
Lance wears a red cape (sorta), but since Superman wears a red cape, and everyone knows Superman is a douche, red cape fails. Nothing good from full trash cans. They're full. Now if they were empty, you can jump inside them and prank the **** outta anyone who walks by. Better yet, when they through their garbage in, yell at them or throw the garbage back at them. The F's fill up the garbage.

Empty trash can vs businessman with empty coffee cup vs prankster with a good idea connecting the other two choices.

Not how I thought it would play out. Anyways...
The pencil. I don't know what you are referencing, so I'll use my own reference.
The girl from Korn's "Let The Guilt Go" (I'll post the video later) uses her telekinesis on the pencil and stabs the lanterns IN DA FACE!!!
Superman vs Batman vs a duck