526/120. Gothorita and 524/119. Duosion: Generation V, #575 and #578
In the three-plus years since BW was released in Japan, I've kept a text file of any little thoughts of anecdotes regarding the Unova Pokemon that would make good write-up fodder and for both of these middle evolution Psychic-type counterparts, I have a resounding blinking cursor under their names. Gothorita is the embodiment of the middle evolution awkwardness akin to puberty, and also "the Virgin" in the Unova zodiac, bridging the gap between baby Gothita and adult Gothitelle, so you'd think I'd give it more of a break than the non-descript bigger puddle of goo named Duosion, but nah. In general I don't like the ridiculous gothic bow motif, and Gothorita has those dead eyes while Duosion, although dull, is still vaguely cute, pleasant, something I used in the games, and it has a more unique basis in cells and mitosis than being yet another humanoid Pokemon. In general the Goth line gets worse with each stage of the family while the Goo line improves, and interestingly the middle evolutions kind of intersect here. Also, I didn't know this until I just researched Gothorita, but her Pokedex entry in Y is creepy as fuck.

521/118. Woobat: Generation V, #527
Woobat is one of the more disappointing Unova Pokemon to me. I remember way back when his low-quality anime concept art was revealed, I thought he was some sort of flying Christmas wreath, which would have been hilarious, amazing and unique for this series. Unfortunately, he's just another bat-based Pokemon, although definitely a cuter and different take on the species than whatever Zubat is supposed to be, and mixes in being a ink stamp to look kind of funny and lovable. He's also less annoying because rather than being spammed anywhere and everywhere, he's so downplayed in the wild that you almost need to go looking for him. But with the good comes the bad: Woobat's line is far less useful than Zubat's in battle, that snaggletooth has got to go, the BW zombie version of Jessie caught one in the anime and it stagnated and did jack-all before being dumped off with Giovanni, and the stamp aspect of Woobat's design takes center stage on his face in the same way that Hippowdon's gaping mouth overshadows everything else about it, although the lack of visible eyes is never a good thing, either. Overall I sort of like Woobat and definitely prefer him to Zubat, but that's about it.

517/117. Crustle: Generation V, #558
Crustle is another Pokemon hindered from having to look at its hideous in-game sprite for hours while doing my rankings. In the TCG artwork and in the anime, Crustle is allowed to have things like facial expressions, a body and actual movement while in the games and its picture in my ranking page, it sits there, motionless, with its eyes sunken into its skull and a face that looks paradoxically vacant and judgmental. The video games also have Crustle's main body coloring as a shade of sandy brown, which is boring and blends in far too much with the giant chunk of painful-looking dirt sitting on his back, while the Dream World artwork above and various cards have Crustle's body as bright, vibrant shade of red and its eyes extend out from its body which looks a bit goofy and endearing. I'd probably like Crustle a whole lot more if he always looked like he did in his Dream World art, but as he stands now, he's mostly forgettable. I mean, I usually grant some points to Pokemon that I actually used in the games, but Crustle came and left my in-game White team and not a fuck was given by me. Probably the most notable and hilarious thing about him is that a fan thought he'd make a great foot rest for Giovanni.

514/116. Zekrom: Generation V, #644
Way back in May 2010 when Zekrom and Reshiram were first revealed, I noticed two things: 1) that the Unova Legendaries looked a hell of a lot cooler to me than the Dialga, Palkia and Giratina ever did; and 2) that as a duo representing yin and yang, Zekrom seemed to be the "male" of the two sides, which is an interesting subversion because typically yin represents black while yang represents masculinity. Perhaps then it's no surprise that Reshiram is far more popular in Japan, while Zekrom is the more popular one in western countries, considering "tough, powerful bipedal dragon" is much more favored archetype here, as is the color black for being "cool." And honestly I do think Zekrom is not a bad design overall, but the main problem I have with it? He blends all together because there's no contrast anywhere on him. It's fine for Reshiram to be all one color because it's easier for the eye to discern lighter colors, but Zekrom looks like a giant smudge in a lot of his artwork, making it hard to see his facial features, the details on his body, etc, or else the artists have to make him an off shade of gray to show any of this (above). The way his funny conch tail lights up blue in his BW animation, for example, looks awesome, stands out far more to the eye, and so I wish the light in his tail were always present. Also, Zekrom is the lesser of the duo for me because he's the Physical-oriented counterpart, the mascot of the version that wasn't my primary Gen V game (although didn't we all think he would have been Black's mascot, at first?), and Dragon/Electric is a less interesting and natural type IMO. But as far as the list of "other" mascot Legendaries go, I do like him.

510/115. Garbodor: Generation V, #569
More than anything I associate Garbodor with the ridiculous arguments that anti-Genwunners use to defend newer Pokemon. Here's a typical conversation involving Garbodor in "Least Favorite Pokemon" threads: "I don't like Garbodor, having a garbage Pokemon is a weird idea." Slightly exaggerated anti-Genwunner: "WELL, KANTO HAS AWFUL POKEMON TOO, PLEASE LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUK IS ALSO AN UNORIGINAL AND SHIT DESIGN! STOP FAPPING TO KANTO." Me: "Where'd the first person say anything about Muk? Maybe he hates Muk AND Garbodor, damn." And, look, I'll be that person who readily admits that I prefer Muk, because Garbodor's design is way too busy, and details like the red and blue pieces of debris (what ARE those??), the jack-o-lantern teeth and the Mickey Mouse dirt ears make it look all the more ridiculous, but I don't dislike the idea of a garbage Pokemon or think it's an idea that's too out there for a series that has monsters based around Easter Island statues or the freaking alphabet. I guess his design does have a bit of humor to appreciate, and shiny garbage is definitely one of the funniest card choices yet, but it also frustrates me that, much like the Poison-type in general during BW, Garbodor was stranded with a horrible type, stats, movepool, abilities, etc. Hopefully in the future he can Mega Evolve into Oscar the Grouch, the series's first Poison/Steel-type, and then maybe I'd like him a lot more than my current indifference.

509/114. Samurott: Generation V, #503
When I started doing the new list, I didn't think any Starter would ever dethrone Blaziken as my least favorite, but here we are. I know Pokemon plays fast and loose with species, but I never really cared for an otter turning into a sea lion for its final evolution, yet still retaining "-ott" in its name, and for a supposedly samurai-influenced Pokemon design, why couldn't they at least make him into Water/Fighting-type? I also don't like Samurott's hissing face, nor the giant shell on its head somehow passing as a "horn" to the extent that it can learn Megahorn when something like Pinsir can't -- at least Pinsir's pincers look sturdy and like they won't fall off his head if he stabs something with them! I also remember back when the Unova Starter final evolutions were revealed, somebody actually ripped apart Samurott's design aspects to prove how it couldn't be real and, while ridiculous in hindsight, I do agree with his points about how the spikes on Samurott's shell and the whiskers on his face are uneven and give a sloppy look to most of Samurott's artwork. The whisker thing in particular grinds my gears because the perspective makes absolutely no sense; we usually only ever see Samurott's face from one side, but they always draw him like the "beard" on the other side of his face isn't even there!

With all that said, even though he's my least favorite Starter, Samurott is still one of them and I do grudgingly admit that every Starter has a certain je ne sais qoui that makes them appealing to me. While the samurai armor is clunky, I do like that they made a very Japanese-styled design to go with Emboar's Chinese and Serperior's European designs, and his war fan tail and shogun armor do give him a sort of regal appearance in line with the other two. And while the shell horn IS ridiculous, I do also like how Samurott can sheath and use the blades attached to his front legs. There are also times where Samurott can look really cool and badass, like here, but that's kind of the problem... when looking through the supplementary materials for Samurott, it's all one mode. Angry, tough, or at best stoic. There's never "sad Samurott" or "happy Samurott" or "confused Samurott," just "I'MMA RIP YOUR FACE OFF Samurott." Even his in-game Pokedex Species is trying to sell him as a badass. He's too one dimensional.

507/113. Darumaka: Generation V, #554
Darumaka is the rare Pokemon where its evolution was revealed and got all of the attention first, and so whatever Darmanitan evolved from would always be sort of incidental to me anyway because I liked Darmanitan the least of the pre-release Pokemon they picked. I mean, sure, he can be cute because of his herp-derp smile and vacant eyes, and mischievous sometimes because of his running gag of loving fruit, so thankfully he isn't stuck in one facial expression like his evolution. But the design itself, even though it represents the daruma doll as discussed previously for culture flavor, is not the most interesting. Hooray, a red blob with little stubby arms and legs! Which mostly makes me just wonder how he just retracts his limbs into a ball in his BW animation, but whatever. He's fine, just not too exciting to me.

506/112. Sigilyph: Generation V, #561
I guess Sigilyph was meant to be the "new Xatu" in that both Pokemon are Psychic/Flying-type birds that represent Native American culture. And, well, shocker: I prefer Xatu because it mixes being a bird and a totem pole more convincingly than Sigilyph blends being... some sort of floating mystical artifact that doesn't even resemble a bird other than its ability to fly and because GameFreak says its a bird in some flavor text. That being said I do like the nice mix of colors on Sigilyph's crest and it does bring a nice twist of native diversity to the region that's supposed to be based on "America," although that Unown-like eye on Sigi's head is still pretty creepy. Also I never knew the correct way to pronounce "Sigilyph" until recently, but that's more because I didn't know "sigil" was pronounced the way it is. I guess overall Sigilyph hasn't done too badly for itself, being one of the best Unova Pokemon for the in-game tiers, being way more useful in competitive battles than Xatu ever was, and gaining a little bit of notoriety in the TCG for being a hard counter to Mewtwo-EX and later being a giant toolbox. So although I appreciate what Sigi brings to the series, it's still an awkward, vaguely creepy design with too many little frills and spikes for me to embrace fully.

502/111. Venipede: Generation V, #543
Fun fact: out of every early-game Bug-type duo where one is part Poison and one isn't, I've preferred the one that isn't part Poison. Bug/Poison is one of the most tired type combinations in the game and so when I found that Venipede was just the start of another in the long line of losers like Beedrill, Ariados, Dustox, etc., I wondered why GameFreak hated Bug and Poison both enough to never diversify things. Of course this is silly now that Venipede's line has Speed Boost and actual battle use, but still, early-Generation V feelings need to be documented here. Venipede is at least a new insect that the series hasn't done before, and it's not Weedle or Wurmple-level useless in battle, although it's far less cute and therefore less important to me because its eyes are always stuck in that Mr. Burns-esque creeper stare (except here and in the anime where it looks kind of tired and unimpressed, and actually sort of cute). Overall, it's okay I guess....

498/110. Amoonguss: Generation V, #591
Every region seems to need its token mushroom-based Pokemon, and the Amoonguss line pulls double duty by being Voltorb's Unova parallel as the Pokemon who can be oh-so-hilariously confused for a Pokeball, only to viciously attack the player for trying to pick him up and stuff him in his backpack. I'm not a huge fan of any of the Unova Poison-type final stages because they're all woefully pathetic in battle worth as well as creativity in their typings, and I REALLY can't stand the "Foongus Amoonguss" naming scheme because A) the fact they named a Pokemon line after the phrase "fungus among us" is just so facepalm worthy by itself, but made even worse by B) their attempt to be cute by changing the pronunciations slightly just makes me wonder what Amoonguss has to do with moons. As for Amoonguss's design, I... actually think it does the Pokeball thing better than Voltorb and Electrode, honestly, because its mushroom heads actually LOOK like Pokeballs, unlike Voltorb and Electrode, and presumably it would really hurt when the player tries to grab them. Amoonguss is so ridiculous that it actually circles into being goofy and endearing, but I had to dock points for the lack of and/or vaguely angry expression in its sprite's face, which is only slightly improved in the other artwork, where it looks kind of confused instead.

496/109. Vanillish: Generation V, #583
Right up there with the "I can't believe they made garbage Pokemon!" complaints were the "I can't believe they made ice cream Pokemon!" complaints pointed at Vanillish and his line. Like with the garbage thing, I don't think an ice cream Pokemon is an idea that's too out there for a series that has mice shooting electricity or 30 foot whales being stored in a two inch ball for safe keeping. I'll probably talk more about this with Vanillite and Vanillish because I actually like those Pokemon a lot, so why is Vanillish this low? Well, it's mostly because his face is really goofy and stupid most of the time, although TCG helps in that regard, and the shape of its design is just... really awkward. I also find Vanillish a little redundant because I don't think the ice cream idea, much like Klink's line, necessarily needed to be stretched out for three stages. He's definitely another one of the Pokemon from Unova that seems a little tossed in just to make the numbers, but I don't dislike him like I do most of the others; in this case, he's more akin to a typical middle evolution where he's an awkward transitional stage, but not outright offensive.

486/108. Larvesta: Generation V, #636
Larva-based Pokemon in the past are usually lifeless blobs with no battle worth, but Larvesta at least gets things right by having a visible face (even if he looks kind of like the head of an Absol or Arceus detached itself, grew legs and walked away), a unique typing and okay stats and movepool. He also evolves into a Pokemon that, quite simply, is anything I could have hoped for the Bug-typing to get out of Generation V, so Larvesta definitely gets points for being related to Volcarona. But the design itself is too much on the "boring blob (featuring random spikes that bring forth Solrock's likeness)" side, and he evolves way too late, which is a problem that runs rampant across the Unova Pokemon. He's another one of those Unova Pokemon that probably could have been cut out or modified, since Volcarona could have worked as a solo Legendary, or the idea could have been tweaked to make them into a pseudo-Legendary line, rather than the weird "not Pseudo, not Legendary, but still kind of special" case they are now, but I still blandly like him in the same way that I like most of the bores in this update.

476/107. Trubbish: Generation V, #568
I feel like I covered most of what there is to say about Trubbish with my Garbodor write-up. Again, the garbage theme for a Pokemon is fine for me, but Trubbish perhaps is a little too... literal with it. It's seriously just a garbage bag that grew legs and walked away, and looks quite similar to Makuhita's head in that it looks like one of those stereotypical knapsacks hanging off a pole that you see in cartoons when a character runs away from home. So I guess it's a bit strange how Garbodor is the more interesting design but I still like it less; I guess it's because Trubbish, despite being sentient trash, has those big eyes full of wonder at everything around him, and he still tries to be cuteand happy anyway? Special shoutout to this card in which Trubbish is seen shaking his fist dramatically at humanity for actually bringing him to the garbage dump, which is funny in ways that this artwork wishes it could be (oh, Tomokazu, never change...). P.S. If it seems like I spammed TCG artwork in this entry to cover up for the lack of anything I had to say about Trubbish, that's only because I did. ^_^

471/106. Bouffalant: Generation V, #626
Gotta love how, in a series known for a previous controversial blackface stereotype, Gamefreak sees it fit to give us a Pokemon with a giant ass afro and gold bling on his horns in the first games of the series set in America. And of course the other thing that most people bring up when discussing Bouffalant is how it OBVIOUSLY should have been related to Tauros, but personally? Like Luvdisc -> Alomomola, I'm glad there isn't a relation because A of all, Miltank already did that and does it better; B of all, Tauros and Bouffalant are way too visually similar that Bouffalant would make a pretty lame evolution; and C of all, buffalo, while closely related, aren't exactly the same thing as bulls. Gamefreak actually did the smart thing and picked a bovine species native to North America to showcase how the Unova games are based on the Americas, and although a little stereotypical, they did put enough of a spin on Bouffalant to separate him from Tauros, so I can't begrudge Gamefreak for any other passing similarities. I admit that I do much prefer Bouffalant's Japanese name of "Buffafro" since that's the Pokemon's actual hairstyle, rather than bouffant, and I do prefer Tauros because Bouffalant's yellow eye is tres creepy and his face always looks a little too unpleasant for my tastes (except for when he's a noble hero who warms abandoned Natu <3), but overall? He's a'ight.

470/105. Pawniard: Generation V, #624
Isn't it crazy that it took them ten years following Gold and Silver to create a Pokemon that had both of the new types introduced in those games? And surprisingly, with the changes to the chart in XY, Pawniard actually has become a star in Little Cup partially because of his typing! Either way, Pawniard is sadly one of the rare cases where I think the pre-evolution is greatly eclipsed by the final evolution in appeal. The origins of the family in general are vague, what with their chess-inspired naming scheme in English and the various theories behind what Bisharp is based on, but Pawniard really doesn't have any of this going on in his design anyway. He's small, hunched back and awkward looking with a face that kind of blends in with his helmet and the giant blade on his head; he almost sort of looks like an metallic insect that learned how to walk on its hind legs, really. While he does bring a different flavor to the series, and particularly the thought that base forms have to be cute, he's just not all that interesting to me personally.

469/104. Unfezant F: Generation V, #521
It's kind of funny how Generation IV made a big deal about gender differences, and then BW gave us a whopping... three. To be fair, the gender differences in Gen V are more on-par with form differences of games past, and that's why I've ranked Frillish, Jellicent and Unfezant's genders separately. Unfezant F here is one of the rare cases where I prefer the male counterpart because he has the crazy pink pileated head feathers while the girl version is a boring basic bitch without pink feathers but with a boring brown breast coloring instead of green. Unfezant in general felts like a water-downed Staraptor in looks and battle worth, and then to have a female form who is a watered down version of the male form is just so... blah. At the very least, the TCG artists deemed her important enough to get her own card, which is more than the girl versions of Frillish and Jellicent can say. I do also tend to like bird-based Pokemon in general, and of course I love female Pokemon, so female Unfezant does get some points for both of those things too. She's alright, just bland.

468/103. Mandibuzz: Generation V, #630
When I think of vultures, I think of them as being fast, cunning, ruthless, aggressive... I do NOT think "slow defensive bitch who looks like she's ready to make her man a sammich." This is the paradox that is Mandibuzz: a Pokemon designed after an animal that would be seemingly offensive, and given a type that would also lend itself to offense, yet because she's a female Pokemon, all of this potential is thrown out for her to be "defensive," which is not only so stereotypical and so poor for her Stealth Rock-weak typing, but so overdone that her very existence brings mixed feelings. And it didn't have to be this way, because Mandi was designed by James Turner, AKA the one westerner of the creative team, so you'd think he'd try to be a little bit more progressive; instead, no, we get a defensive, pink female-only Pokemon who wears a bow-shaped bone on her head and a god damn apron to reinforce the fact that she's the less intimidating counterpart to Braviary.

This damage is mitigated NOW because Mandibuzz, shockingly, has hit OU in XY thanks to Foul Play and Dark in general being a far more potent type combo, but this list was finished long before any of that happened. And like I said before with Gothitelle, any feminine Pokemon will get a little bit of love from me just because they're outnumbered in the series, plus I always love when there are male and female counterparts like Mandibuzz and Braviary, Volbeat and Illumise, etc. And despite having some problems with Mandibuzz's design overall, I am glad that we both got a vulture-based Pokemon after all these years, particularly in the region based on America even though she's not encountered in the desert area of it, and one that looks pretty cool from some angles (see above or here; except, again, for that damn apron). She's also a great improvement over her little turd of a pre-evolution and her Japanese name being "Vulgina" is kind of funny for being so similar to the lady parts she possesses, so I do like her... but just not as much as I SHOULD.

465/102. Pansear: Generation V, #513
Ahh, the monkeys. Gamefreak tried to push these guys as psuedo-Starters in BW and the fanbase didn't react very well to them, probably because they have such similar designs, aren't metagame whores and appeared in the first two or three BW TCG sets (but then not much after that so the TCG fans really need to give over their "oh no, the monkeys are in ANOTHER set STOP USING THEM" thing ). All of this is tangentially related to Pansear but I'm bringing it up here because Pansear is, by far, the least interesting of the six monkeys. Based on the wise monkey of "hear no evil," Pansear always has his hand up to his ear, which is fine, but I don't get why the rest of his demeanor, including his droopy eyes and slouching posture, is so sleepy and lackadaisical? I also never started with Oshawott, so I've never used Pansear and thus have no attachment to him, but he seems really useless and redundant anyway because A) Incinerate is a HORRIBLE early STAB move and B) Darumaka does everything Pansear can do in-game much, much better and C) even beyond Darumaka, we've had a fire-based monkey line before. Don't get me wrong, I probably like Pansear more than most because he's a perfectly fine monkey design and is even kind of cute when he's allowed to stop looking sleepy, but Pansage and Panpour are definitely the superior Unova monkeys, and Chimchar is the better fire monkey.

460/101. Mienfoo: Generation V, #619
Like Pawniard, Mienfoo is one of those first evolutions whose designs are a little on the basic side, and who tries to compensate for not being cute by being a little badass. And, like Pawniard, it's worked to the extent that Mienfoo evolves ridiculously late for absolutely no reason and is one of the stars of the XY Little Cup at the moment, but also costs him several spots on my own ranking because meh, I prefer my first forms to be really cute and have them evolve into the powerhouses. Particularly I'm not a fan of his super-beady little eyes, a feeling that is increased tenfold in his base BW sprite, which is actually kind of creepy looking. That being said I do appreciate Mienfoo for his scrappiness and I like how his typical stance seems to be based in martial arts, which is surprisingly rare in this series' Fighting-types. If his Japanese and English names are to be trusted, his particular style is Kung fu and like I said in the original rankings, I do love when Fighting-types are based around specific styles; either way, the stance works really well with the frilly aspects of his design. But his face is too angry for my tastes (all of his artwork has the bitchface eyebrows, sadly) and his evolution does all of this better, so he goes out here.

~*~ UNOVA TOP 100 ~*~:

455/100. Rufflet: Generation V, #627
Rufflet is one of those Pokemon where everyone raved about how cute it is upon release whereas my feelings about it always have been much more tepid. It does have some moments where it's a bit cute, like above or a lot of its TCG artwork, but personallyme a baby bird should look like it's casting smug judgment upon me far less often than Rufflet does (omg I really hate its BW sprite for this). There's just something vaguely haughty and off-puting about Rufflet in its BW animation and Sugimori artwork and as such I like him less than I probably should. He has a really good evolution but sadly, thanks in part to evolving embarrassingly late while being pretty damn terrible in battle, I think Rufflet's the rare base form whose evolution greatly eclipses him. He's also better than Vullaby, of course, since Gamefreak made sure to put every single version exclusive I liked less into my preferred game (except Reshiram). Overall: he's just a'ight for me.

454/99. Golurk and 453/98. Golett: Generation V, #623 and #622
Womp womp. Upon BW's release, TK and I were thrilled with the selection of new Ghost-types, most of them having unique new type combinations and all of them seemingly being really unique and interesting designs. But somewhere along the way, the luster of these two wore off on me compared to the rest. Perhaps it was because they were the only of the four Ghost-type lines that I never used in the games, although my boyfriend did <3, but more likely it's because their design courtesy of James Turner is just a little bit too robotic and rigid for my tastes, particularly the singular L-shaped computer bit right eyes. The Ghost/Ground typing always throws me a bit too because their eyes and bot-like designs in general evoke computers i.e. Electric-types while the emphasis placed on their fists, their Fighting typing in the TCG and the fact that they have Iron Fist makes them feel like they should really be Ghost/Fighting-types, but instead apropos of nothing they're part Ground even though they have built-in rocket boosters. Okay.

That's not to say that they're bad Pokemon; they ARE totally original and bring a new flavor to the series, and I'm thankful for that. Their Roman-esque armor plating, the aforementioned ability to fly at Mach speeds due to an internal power source and their mech-like essence in general were all concepts never really done in Pokemon before. I also appreciate that they're man-made Pokemon meant to serve as protectors of both people and Pokemon, which is a particularly novel idea for this series where you consider that nearly every other Ghost-type Pokemon likes to torture, harm and/or otherwise kill humanity. I was really sad when one of Golurk's Japanese promo cards was never translated into English despite many botched opportunities from TPCi, I think Golurk has a very interesting movepool and decent stats, and at the moment I do think this placement feels a little too harsh, so I suppose I do like them overall.

451/97. Sawk and 450/96. Throh: Generation V, #539 and #538
"In development, Sawk and Throh both had horns, making them look more like oni. However, they were replaced with eyebrows so as not to clash with Tornadus and Thundurus, who both were originally designed to be red and blue, like Throh and Sawk." So they're a fighting pair of oni? I guess they have as much in common with Moloch and Drahmin as they do with Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan, then. Truth be told I never noticed the "oni" connection until researching these two for this write-up but I guess it does sort of explain their evil-looking, weirdly-designed faces... although that means they probably should have been Dark/Fighting instead of Scraggy and Scrafty (which would still be an upgrade for the series' first Dark/Fighting-types). Obviously Sawk and Throh are meant to be Unova's Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee, being male-only humanoid martial artists and all, but unfortunately they missed the opportunity in XY to introduce a third counterpart based on, like, kickboxing, as well as a baby Pokemon to bridge all three. Slapp (the baby) and Kikk (the purple third form) for Generation VII!

Overall they're alright, but I do have some concerns. The random lines and crosses they have all over their gi, and more importantly their skin, are distracting and ugly, and so are those "eyebrows" which look more like abstract face guards. I don't like them as much as the Hitmonsters, I regularly confuse which one is Sawk and which one is Throh, and their stat distributions could have been more specialized -- it feels like they were aiming to make Throh a slow powerhouse and Sawk the glass cannon, but didn't go far enough with either one. But I do like that Throh is based on judo, which is a fighting style based around throws, and I didn't know that Sawk's fighting style was supposed to be karate, nor that he is apparently supposed to be based on a famous martial artist like Hitmonchan and Hitmonlee were, but it's interesting nonetheless. I went back and forth on which I liked more -- I prefer blue so Sawk had that edge, but in the end Throh's less lanky body and better posture won out for me.

448/95. Gothita: Generation V, #574
Gothita herself is a nothing, so let's answer some burning questions about her placement relative to others. Why Gothita over Gothorita and Gothitelle? Less crazy frills, a less jacked up face, a slightly cuter design (but only slightly). Why Gothita over Solosis? Solosis is okay but couldn't be a more basic design for a Pokemon if they tried; while humanoid Pokemon are a dime a dozen, Gothita at least has body parts, and is meant to play the "baby" stage of her evolutionary line. Why is Gothita not higher? Because I'm not a huge fan of babies in real life, and as such something about her face is extremely creepy to me -- this, for example, terrifies me even though it's ostensibly supposed to be 'cute'. Also, because I don't really care about Gothita's evolutions and the line in general feels sinister. Okay? Alright.

444/94. Accelgor: Generation V, #617
Accelgor is the only saving grace of the Karrablast/Shelmet rectangle. I like that there's a super-fast Bug-type with good Special Attack and it's cool that there's a Pokemon truly modeled after ninjas -- I don't really count Sceptile or Ninjask -- even though it doesn't really make any sense with the Bug-type or the trading evolution concepts, and Greninja did it better three years later. However I don't really like Accelgor's expressionless face or its ambiguous design basis; Bulbapedia conjectures that it's supposed to be a tube worm or a bagworm, but none of that is really going on in Shelmet or Karrablast's line, so who knows for sure? Like with Escavalier, Accelgor benefits from things like the anime and the card game that allow it different poses and such, but unlike many other Pokemon with bland sprites, it pretty much looks the same in everything. For some reason Accelgor is ALWAYS angled in a way that makes it look like he's cast judgment on the peons below him. And unfortunately Accelgor didn't break the trend of Bug-types with decent stats having terrible movepools, so while it's interesting design there's nothing that overly attracts me to it otherwise.

435/93. Foongus: Generation V, #590
It says a lot about the utter shittiness of Generation V's Poison-types that, at one point, Foongus was my favorite of the lot. Okay, so that was a little harsh toward Scolipede, but as a whole they really were an unreedemable mess of reused concepts and type combinations. Foongus has a lot of the same problems as its evolution: super stupid name? Mhm. Type that makes my eyeballs bleed? Amen. Umpteenth mushroom-based Pokemon and second pseudo-Pokeball line? True, but these factors don't bother me as much. I give Foongus more of a pass because I think he's cute - not exceedingly so, or else he'd be a top favorite, but he does convey an innocence and charm that many don't. Okay, I already wrote too much about this thing, moving on.

429/92. Simisear: Generation V, #514
I'd like to reiterate that I'm probably the only fan of the monkey trio in history, but the Fire line is the worst of the three for a couple of reasons. First is that I picked Tepig and then Snivy so I never had the game conveniently hand me Pansear, and even if it did, Simisear really does kind of suck and is extremely outclassed whereas Simipour and Simisage are much more useful in-game. We also already had a Fire-type monkey line that I liked more in Chimchar and, hell, we even had another Fire-type simian line IN BLACK AND WHITE, although to be fair I do like Simisear more than Darmanitan. He just feels like the weak link of the Simi trio, abandoning the "hear no evil" motif of Pansear in favor of... unkempt shagginess? Lack of inner equilibrium? A hangover face? I remember somebody in the chat (Krisp?) said he looked fabulous upon reveal, but outside of his fierce rendition of "Walk Like an Egyptian," he looks entertainingly drunk more than anything, and definitely bows down to Simipour in the fabulous department. I also resent Pansear and Simisear a little because, as Fire-types, they were printed a few extra times in the card game and came the closest to validating the droves of TCG haters who boohooed the monkey trio for being "printed too much." So I like him but I don't feel overly compelled to defend him like I do Simisage and Simipour.

426/91. Tranquill: Generation V, #520
After the Starly line's strong showing in DP, I was really looking forward to seeing what BW's early bird archetype would bring us. I really liked Pidove, but Tranquill was the first sign that something was off here. His natural level-up moves combined with his stat spread meant for disappointment, and even his design looks kind of goofy when you really look at it - for example that mane of feathers behind its neck that looks more really long hair. It's also very generic to the point that one can barely place what kind of bird it's supposed to be. Is it a big mutant pigeon? Some sort of crack dove because its Pokedex entries mention how it keeps the peace? Even Tranquill's appearances in supplementary material like the anime and the TCG invoke a feeling of it just being there. At the same time, after Staravia's reign of terror (and even dumber looking hair) throughout the wilds of Sinnoh, Tranquill looking less stupid and not being as annoying in the wild is perhaps all I really needed. So he's decent in the respect that you can come across his picture and go "yeah, it's okay" and then promptly forget about him again.